We frequently receive E-mails from our website visitors which challenge
various beliefs about homosexuality. Almost all are
abusive; occasionally they contain death threats. But the occasional Email
on this topic opens dialogue. We have decided to show some of them here,
with our response. We will carefully paraphrase the incoming E-mail in order
that the visitor remain anonymous. There is only one E-mail shown below. We hope
to
add others as they arrive.
These Email exchanges contain personal opinions of one staff member of the
organization that sponsors this web site. They do not necessarily agree with the
beliefs of the remaining staff members.
We have a similar list of E-mails about the second of the most controversial
religious topics: abortion.
Sponsored link:
Incoming E-mail: Here is some additional information you may be able
to use on your site. Stephen Bennett is an ex homosexual who changed through
prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit. Please read the 'about' section on his
site. 1
Yes, homosexuals can change
Our response: Thanks for the information.
As we explain in our Christian, Intra-religious
Translating Dictionary, it is
almost impossible for a conservative Christian to carry on a dialog or
discussion on many topics with a person who follows another religious tradition.
This is true for abortion, homosexuality and many other topics. This is because
the Fundamentalist and other Evangelical sub-culture often assigns different meanings
to specific words. Any attempt to communicate must then begin with
a lengthy attempt to define meanings for common words. For example:
"Homosexual" to a conservative Christian describes what a person
does. It refers
to a person who regularly has sex with a person of the same gender. Using that
definition, Stephen Bennett has indeed converted, through prayer, from
homosexuality to heterosexuality. He has a wife and two children to prove it.
"Homosexual" to gays, lesbians, bisexuals, religious liberals, human sexuality
researchers, mental health professionals etc. describes what a person is. A homosexual
is a person who has a homosexual sexual orientation. Their fantasies and
self-identification are homosexual. A homosexual may be celibate and not
engage in sexual activity at all; or she/he may be sexually active with persons
of the same gender. Just as a heterosexual has no feelings of sexual attraction
to members of the same gender, a homosexual has no feelings of sexual attraction
to members of the opposite gender.
"Bisexual" is a term that is rarely used by conservative Christians. "Bisexual"
to gays, lesbians, bisexuals, religious liberals, human sexuality researchers,
mental health professionals etc. refers to a person who is attracted, not
necessarily to the same degree, to both men and women. A bisexual may be
celibate and not engage in sexual activity at all; or they may be sexually
active with men, with women, or with both.
As is normal for conservative Christian testimonies dealing with sexual
behavior, Bennett is rather vague on the details of his sexual orientation, and
is very specific on his past sexual behavior.
I offer two suggestions:
He has a bisexual orientation and has always been a bisexual. He first became
sexually active with male strangers and acquaintences, then decided to settle down with
another male in a multi-year relationship. He became convinced that this
behavior was against the will of God. He dated a woman and eventually married
her. He remains attracted to men and to other women, but does not act on these
attractions because he is married.
He has a homosexual orientation and has always been a homosexual. He is
sexually attracted only to men. But he became convinced that his behavior was
against the will of God. So he dated a woman, became friends with her, and
married her. When engaging in sex with her he has sufficiently strong fantasies
that he can imagine making love to a man and is able to complete the act. His
two children are the result. But his sexual orientation remains homosexual.
There are other options as well, but I think that the two above are the most
likely.
I hope that the first suggestion is the valid one. Otherwise, his chances of
remaining faithful to his wife are very small, and the probability that his
marriage will survive is quite slim.
As we describe in our essay on reparative therapy, there
is no really accurate data about what percentage of persons with a homosexual
orientation can convert to a heterosexual orientation. Indications from four
studies show that conversion therapy has a failure rate of 99.8% or more. In
fact, there may be more suicides resulting from failed therapy than there are
successes where people have been able to change their sexual orientation.
References:
Stephen Bennett, "God's Amazing Grace: The Miraculous Story of Stephen Bennett,"
at: http://www.sbministries.org/
