Stories of events that never happened
and probably never will happen.

"... a montage of several of the urban myths currently floating around cyberspace. This anonymous email is being passed around under the heading, 'It Must be True, I Saw it on the Internet'.

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there's no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the government made them change their name to KFC). Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true - I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.) The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90, which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the guy's expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital -- the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck but for only 10 people you will only have OK luck and if you send it to fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation. Send THIS to all the friends who send you their mail and you will receive 4 green M&Ms -- if you don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad luck: you will get sick from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your shampoo, your spouse will develop a skin rash from using the antiperspirant which clogs the pores under your arms, and the U.S. government will put a tax on your e-mails forever. I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet." Author unknown

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UFO invasion fleet will reach Earth during 2017-SEP:

"Emma" wrote an article for the New World Order section of the Global Revolution Network. ₅ She said that a NASA satellite had detected a massive UFO in the form of a "miles-wide" invasion fleet that had entered the solar system and appears to be headed towards Earth. President Trump allegedly sent Vice President Pence to meet Russia's President Putin to coordinate the construction of an Earth-wide missile defense system to defend Earth from attack.

The image is taken from a frame grab taken 21 seconds into a You Tube video posted by UFOmania. It contains two photographs allegedly taken by the NASA satellite of part of the invasion fleet:

₆

You Tube appears to be skeptical of the existence of the invasion fleet, because it classified the video under their "entertainment" category.

The 6.5 minute video was posted on 2016-OCT-27 and has received 2.5 million views by 2017-AUG-17. It had received 8,245 "likes" and 2,642 "dislikes:"

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This webmaster's comment:

I predict that the probability of this event happening is 1 in ten thousand.

The Earth was/is to be plunged into darkness for 15 days during November of 2015, or 2017, or 20??: A repeating hoax:

NewsWatch33.com was a web site that published many satire or hoax stories. It is apparently offline as of 2017-AUG. When their site was active, it contained a disclaimer that said:

"NewsWatch33.com is a news platform covering major current events. Most of these events are truthful with a shock factor, while others are satirical."

They have a Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/newswatch33/ whose latest posting was five months old as of the middle of 2017-AUG.

During 2015-JUL, their web site published a report with the title: "NASA Confirms Earth Will Experience 15 Days of Complete Darkness in November 2015." It said:

"NASA has confirmed that the Earth will experience 15 days of total darkness between November 15 and November 29, 2015. The event, according to NASA, hasn’t occurred in over 1 Million years.

Astronomers from NASA have indicated that the world will remain in complete darkness starting on Sunday, November 15, 2015 at 3 a.m. and will end on Monday, November 30, 2015 at 4:15 p.m. According to officials, the “November Black Out” event will be caused by another astronomical event between Venus and Jupiter.

Charles Bolden, who was appointed to head of NASA by President Obama, issued a 1000 page document explaining the event to the White House." ₂

David Vanallen, writing on the Reflection of Mind web site, quoted the fictitious NASA report that predicted the same event, to happen during 2017-NOV. He said:

"... during this specific period Jupiter and Venus will come in close proximity of each other and will be separated by just 1 degree. ... Venus’ bright light will heat up the gases in Jupiter causing a reaction which will release a [sic] an absurdly high amount of hydrogen into ... space. This reaction will come in contact with our Sun at 2:50 am on November 15th. ..."

"Once the hydrogen reaches the Sun, a massive explosion is bound to occur on the surface of the Sun, increasing the temperature to more than 9,000 degrees. The whole process will generate so much heat that the Sun will change its color into a bluish shade. Once this happens, the Sun will need a minimum of 14 days to restore its normal color and temperature."

The NASA employee referenced in the NewsWatch33 article is an actual official at NASA, but the rest of the story is a hoax.

The story seems to be based on the belief that when the distance between Venus and Jupiter is less than 1º in the sky as viewed from Earth, that Venus is actually physically close to Jupiter. But Venus always stays between the Earth and the Sun at an average distance of about 108 million km (67 million miles) from the Sun. ₃ Meanwhile Jupiter always stays outside the Earth's orbit, about seven times farther from the Sun than the Earth is, averaging 779 million km (484 million miles) from the Sun. ₄

Thus Venus and Jupiter always stay hundreds of millions of miles apart from Venus inside the Earth's orbit and Jupiter outside. They sometimes seem to be close when viewed from the Earth, but are always far apart in reality.

If the Earth were to be in darkness for 15 straight days, then one of two events would have to occur first:

• The Sun would have to reduce its light output. There is no evidence that the Sun has shut down in the past 1 million years or at any time during its 4.5 billion year history.
  
  
• A massive object could position itself between the Sun and the Earth and block the Sun's rays. However, the only objects in the solar system that could do this are the larger planets like Jupiter and Saturn, and these are -- like the Earth -- in fixed orbits around the Sun and remain well beyond the Earth's orbit.

This webmaster's comment:

I predict that the likeliness of this event happening is 1 in 100,000.

Other related essays on this site:

Urban Legend menu Introduction to Christian Urban Legends Christian Urban Legends exposed by ICR Other Christian Urban Legends

Reference used:

1. Image courtesy of Stuart Miles; downloaded from FreeDigitalPhotos.net
2. "NASA Confirms 15 Days of Darkness in June 2017?," Snopes, 2017-MAY-2017, at: http://www.snopes.com/
3. Matt Williams, "How far is Venus from the Sun?" Universe Today, 2017-FEB-17, at: https://www.universetoday.com/
4. Elizabeth Howell, "How far are the planets from the Sun?," Universe Today, 2014-APR-21, at: https://www.universetoday.com/
5. "Emma,"Alien UFO Invasion Fleet Will Reach Earth In September 2017, Trump Allegedly Warns Putin After NASA Detected ‘Miles-Wide’ Armada Of Spaceships That Entered Our Solar System (VIDEO)," Global Revolution Network, 2017-FEB-15, at: http://www.globalrevolutionnetwork.com/
6. "US Warns Russia 'Aliens On Their Way, Will Be Here In 2017,' You Tube, posted 2016-OCT-27, at: https://www.youtube.com/
7. "Urban myths within the Christian community," Focus on the Family, at: http://www.family.org/ Unfortunately, this link no longer functions.

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Creation date: 1999-APR-05
Latest update: 2017-AUG-17
Author: B.A. Robinson

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