Changes, including re-definitions, of
marriages since before biblical times
It has often been stated that the basic building block of society is the family. Families are being formed continually. In the Western world, many couples meet, find themselves attracted to each
other, decide to date each other exclusively, engage in sexual activity, decide to form a
permanent relationship, and move in together, and perhaps marry (not necessarily in that order). In the vast majority of cases, the couples are of opposite genders. However, a small but growing percentage of couples who wish to marry are of the same gender.
Marriage has been continually evolving. It has gone through many changes and redefinitions over the past 15 decades:
Most couples are made up of one woman and one man; some are of the same
gender; a relative few are polygamous, either group marriages (any gender combination of more than 2 persons), polygynous (one man, multiple women), or -- very rarely -- polyandrous (one woman, multiple
Most couples are of the same race. But it is only since the Civil War that African Americans were allowed to marry anywhere in the U.S.
Other marriages are interracial. They were forbidden in some parts of the U.S. prior to 1967 when the U.S. Supreme Court declared miscegenation laws unconstitutional. Interracial marriages are now legal everywhere in North America; they are increasing in numbers.
Some couples are of the same religion; others are inter-faith. Until recent decades many Christian denominations quoted the biblical passage 2 Corinthians 6:14 which forbids Christians from marrying outside of their faith -- and sometimes marrying outside of their denomination -- and thus being "unequally yoked." Some still do.
Some couples decide
to have their own children; others attempt to adopt; others intentionally remain
childless; still others are infertile. Some infertile couples seek assistance from fertility clinics to help them conceive via artificial insemination, in-vitro fertilization, etc. Such methods are forbidden by the Roman Catholic Church and some other faith groups.
Some couples prefer to simply live together without ceremony or
state license; others wish to stand up in front of friends and family, declare their love
and commitment to each other, and be legally married in a secular or religious
Governments allow some couples to marry and deny marriage to other
couples. In the U.S. it is up to the state to define whom may marry. In Canada, it is determined for the entire country by federal legislation.
The significance of marriage:
Marriage can have both religious and legal significance.
Many Christian denominations
look upon marriage as being ordained by God, patterned after God's creation of the first
couple, Adam and Eve. To some Christians, the relationship between two spouses is
considered permanent. It is symbolic
of the relationship between Christ and his church.
Other faith groups have a broader
definition of marriage: a religiously recognized commitment by a couple to support each
other and live together monogamously "'till death do them part" or,
if the marriage becomes hopelessly toxic, until they separate and/or divorce.
To most Atheists and Agnostics, a marriage will be entirely secular in nature,
without any religious significance.
In many countries in Europe and elsewhere, a couple goes to their city hall
to have their relationship recognized as a marriage by the government. They
may then elect to follow this up with a religious marriage ceremony in a
church, mosque, synagogue, etc. In North America, and elsewhere, the couple may
elect to bypass a religious ceremony and have their marriage solemnized by a
marriage commissioner or judge in a completely civil ceremony.
A growing percentage -- almost a majority -- of couples are deciding to have their marriage ceremony performed outside of a church, mosque, synagogue, temple, etc.
Types of unions:
The vast majority of couples form opposite-sex marriages. Religious and social conservatives call them "traditional marriages." A minority form what
are often called "homosexual marriages," or "gay marriages." We recommend that the term "same-sex
families" and "same-sex marriage" be used instead, because some
male-male and female-female marriages involve two bisexuals or a bisexual and a
with it many benefits. Hundreds of these are offered by individual states. In 1997-FEB the U.S.
Government issued a list of over 1,000 laws giving special
federal rights, privileges and responsibilities to opposite-sex married couples. Because of the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) Gay and
couples are excluded from these federal the benefits and protections
that they would otherwise bring to themselves and their children. However, DOMA law has been found by a number of federal courts to violate the U.S. Constitutional and is currently under appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court.
Only opposite-sex couples can legally marry in most of the world's political jurisdictions. However, a
number of jurisdictions have enlarged their definition of
marriage to include same-sex couples. Holland was the first. Belgium, Canada, the District of Columbia and a few states in the U.S., Spain, South Africa etc. followed. Other states in the U.S. have created civil unions for same-sex couples. These are
equivalent to marriage but lack the name "marriage." Couples typically receive the same -- or almost the same -- state
benefits as do married couples. However, because of the DOMA law, they receive none of the federal benefits at this time.
The origins and types of marriage:
Anthropologists have observed that all societies have some form of marriage
arrangement or arrangements. Also, most cultures follow one or more religions.
It is reasonable to assume that all human cultures, even in pre-historic times, had
some form or forms of religiously sanctioned marriage.
In North America, there are currently three main types:
"Living together:" an informal arrangement which may be temporary or
Common-law marriage: living together with the intent of creating a
Legally recognized marriage registered with the government, which brings
a full set of benefits, protections, and obligations.
Who could marry? -- from the 19th century until now:
The 1866 Hyde decision in England included a definition of marriage in a
judge's ruling, which has been frequently cited since:
"What, then, is the
nature of this institution [marriage] as understood in Christendom? Its
incidents vary in different countries, but what are its essential
elements and invariable features? If it be of common acceptance and
existence, it must have some pervading identity and universal basis. I
conceive that marriage, as understood in Christendom, may for
this purpose be defined as the voluntary union for life of one man and
one woman, to the exclusion of all others." 1
In the United States, the meaning of "marriage" has been in a continual state of flux:
In the early part of the 19th century, marriage was generally considered a legally sanctified contract of
mutual support between two consenting non-African-American adults of opposite gender.
African-Americans were prohibited from marrying in many states.
Later in that century, in the territory that was to become the state of Utah, polygyny was legalized;
marriage there became a legally sanctified contract of mutual support between a man and one or more
women, all being non-African-American consenting adults. During 1890, a few years before Utah became a
state, the earlier definition was reinstated, restricting marriage to one woman
and one man. Polygyny still exists in Utah and surrounding states among fundamentalist Mormon denominations where it is not aggressively prosecuted.
After the Civil War and over the objections of many conservative folks, African-Americans were permitted to
marry. A marriage then became more inclusive: a contract between two consenting adults of
the same race and of opposite gender.
In 1967, again over the objections of about 70% of the population at the time, mixed-race
couples were permitted to marry. The U.S. Supreme Court decided on JUN-12 of
that year that all 16 remaining state miscegenation laws which prohibited interracial
marriage were unconstitutional. 2
Ironically, the court case was called "Loving v. Virginia." A marriage then became even more inclusive: a contract
between any two consenting adults of opposite gender who had exceeded a lower age limit and were not too closely related.
For a few hours in 1996-DEC, in the state of Hawaii -- over the objections of
still another generation of Americans -- same-sex couples were theoretically
permitted to marry. Unfortunately for the gay and lesbian couples who wished to get married,
the state refused to issue them marriage licenses. This brief window was closed
by a court injunction obtained by the state. For a brief interval, a marriage
had theoretically became even more inclusive:
a contract of mutual support between two loving, committed, consenting adults of any race and gender combination.
Starting on 2000-JUL-01, civil unions became available in Vermont. Committed
couples were able to go to their local town clerk, obtain a license, and have
their relationship solemnized in a church of their choice (or in a civil
ceremony). Committed opposite-sex couples in the state can marry, as always; same-sex couples
could obtain a civil union. Both give the spouses the same state rights, benefits and
obligations; just the legal name is different. If they separate, they may go
to state courts to obtain a divorce.
Many gays and lesbians in committed relationships have gone on
vacation in Vermont, entered into a civil union, returned to their home
state, and ask for their unions to be recognized. They requested the
same rights, benefits and obligations that married folks have had for
centuries. State courts have consistently refused their requests.
The awkward title "civil union" is being replaced in
popular usage with "marriage." Rather than say "I
entered into a civil union," people will say "I got
married." Rather than say "This is my civil unionized
partner" people will refer to their partner as wife, husband, spouse or