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 | Most couples are made up of one woman and one man; some are of the same gender; a relative few are polygamous, either polyandrous (one woman, multiple men) or polygynous (one man, multiple women). |
| Some couples are of the same race; others are multi-racial. |
| Some couples are of the same religion; others are inter-faith. |
| Some decide to have their own children; others attempt to adopt; others intentionally remain childless; still others are infertile. |
| Some prefer to simply live together without ceremony or state license; others wish to stand up in front of friends and family, declare their love and commitment to each other, and be legally married in a secular and/or religious setting. |
Governments allow some couples to marry and deny marriage to other couples.
The significance of marriage:
Marriage can have both religious and legal significance.
| Many Christian denominations look upon marriage as being ordained by God, patterned after God's creation of the first couple, Adam and Eve. To some Christians, the relationship between two spouses is permanent. It is symbolic of the relationship between Christ and his church. |
| Other faith groups have a broader definition of marriage: a religiously recognized commitment by a couple to support each other and live together monogamously "'till death do them part" or, if the marriage becomes hopelessly toxic, until they divorce. |
| A growing number of religious organizations and political jurisdictions do not require the spouses to be of opposite genders. |
| To most Atheists and Agnostics, a marriage will be entirely secular in nature, without any religious significance. |
In many countries in Europe and elsewhere, a couple goes to their city hall to have their relationship recognized as a marriage by the government. They may then elect to follow this up with a religious marriage ceremony in a church, mosque, synagogue, etc. In North America, and elsewhere, the couple may elect to bypass a religious ceremony and have their marriage solemnized by a marriage commissioner in a completely civil ceremony.
Types of unions:
The vast majority of couples form heterosexual families; a minority form what are often called "homosexual families." We recommend that the term "same-sex families" and "same-sex marriage" be used instead, because some male-male and female-female marriages involve two bisexuals or a bisexual and a homosexual.
Marriage brings with it many dozens of benefits. In 1997-FEB the U.S. Government issued a list of over 1000 laws giving special rights, privileges and responsibilities to heterosexual married couples. Gay and lesbian committed couples are excluded from these laws and denied the benefits and protections that they would otherwise bring to themselves and their children.
Only opposite-sex couples can legally marry in most jurisdictions. However, a number of jurisdictions have enlarged their definition of marriage to include same-sex couples since the beginning of the 21st century: Holland, Belgium, Canada, Massachusetts, and Spain. The supreme court in New Jersey has ordered the legislature to create a system of same-sex marriages or civil unions.The latter are already available in the states of Vermont and Connecticut California has a system of domestic partnerships. These are arrangements equivalent to marriage in everything but the name. They receive the same state benefits as do married couples.
The origins of marriage:
Anthropologists have observed that all societies have some form of marriage arrangement or arrangements. Also, most cultures follow one or more religions. It is reasonable to assume that all cultures, even in pre-historic times, had some form or forms of religiously sanctioned marriage. There are eight family types described in the Hebrew Scriptures. In North America, there are three types:
| "living together:" an informal arrangement which may be temporary or permanent. |
| common-law marriage: living together with the intent of creating a permanent union. |
| Legally recognized marriage registered with the government, which brings a full set of benefits and obligations. |
Who could marry? -- from the 19th century to the year 2000:
The 1866 Hyde decision in England included a definition of marriage in a judge's ruling, which has been frequently cited since:
"What, then, is the nature of this institution [marriage] as understood in Christendom? Its incidents vary in different countries, but what are its essential elements and invariable features? If it be of common acceptance and existence, it must have some pervading identity and universal basis. I conceive that marriage, as understood in Christendom, may for this purpose be defined as the voluntary union for life of one man and one woman, to the exclusion of all others." 4
In the United States, the meaning of "marriage" has been in a continual state of flux:
| In the early part of the 19th century, marriage was generally considered a legally sanctified contract of mutual support between two consenting non-African-American adults of opposite gender. African-Americans were prohibited from marrying in many states. | ||||
| Later, in the area that was to become the state of Utah, polygyny was legalized; marriage there became a legally sanctified contract of mutual support between a man and one or more women, all being non-African-American consenting adults. A few years before Utah became a state, the earlier definition was reinstated, restricting marriage to one woman and one man. | ||||
| After the Civil War and over the objections of many conservative folks, African-Americans were permitted to marry. A marriage then became more inclusive: a contract between two consenting adults of the same race and of opposite gender. | ||||
| In 1967, again over the objections of about 70% of the population, mixed-race couples were permitted to marry. The U.S. Supreme Court decided on JUN-12 of that year that all 16 remaining state miscegenation laws which prohibited interracial marriage were unconstitutional. 1 Ironically, the court case was called "Loving v. Virginia." A marriage then became even more inclusive: a contract between any two consenting adults of opposite gender. | ||||
| For a few hours in 1996-DEC, in the state of Hawaii, over the objections of still another generation Americans, same-sex couples were theoretically permitted to marry. Unfortunately for the gay and lesbian couples who wished to get married, the state refused to issue them marriage licenses. This brief window was closed by a court injunction obtained by the state. For a brief interval, a marriage had theoretically became even more inclusive: a contract of mutual support between two loving, committed, consenting adults. | ||||
| Starting on 2000-JUL-01, civil unions became available in Vermont. Committed couples were able to go to their local town clerk, obtain a license, and have their relationship solemnized in a church of their choice (or in a civil ceremony). Committed opposite-sex couples can marry, as always; same-sex couples can obtain a civil union. Both give the spouses the same state rights, benefits and obligations; just the legal name is different. If they separate, they may go to state courts to obtain a divorce. | ||||
| With the legalization of civil unions in
Vermont:
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Recent trends in marriages:
The institution of marriage is in a continuous state of flux. Recent changes include:
| Same-sex marriages: As of 2000-DEC-19, Dutch gay and lesbian couples were permitted to marry and adopt children, with the full privileges enjoyed by heterosexual married couples. The Netherlands became the first country in recent history to have legalized same-sex marriages. Belgium, was the next country to follow suit in 2003-JAN. A number of provinces and one territory in Canada gradually legalized same-sex marriage, starting in 2003-JUN. On 2004-MAY, the state of Massachusetts followed suit. During 2005-JUL, same-sex marriage was legalized across all of Canada and Spain. Next were South Africa and Israel. More details. | ||||||||||||||||
| Covenant marriages: These are like
regular marriages, except that they are more difficult to get into, and out
of. They are only available in a few states, and form an option to "normal"
marriage. Covenanting couples must first attend a pre-marital counseling course,
and agree to seek counseling if their marriage later goes on the rocks.
No-fault divorce is not available to them; they have to prove adultery or
abuse or remain separated for a specified time interval before they are eligible to
apply for a divorce. Covenant marriages do not appear to have been particularly successful. Very few marrying couples take advantage of them. Fewer than 5% of couples register for them where they are available. | ||||||||||||||||
| The State of our Unions report
for the year 2002, produced by the National Marriage Project at
Rutgers University, contains a great deal of information about
marriage, including:
|
Why are same-sex marriages a hot topic now?
There are may probable reasons why same-sex marriages/civil unions have emerged as an controversial issue in recent years:
| Perhaps the main reason is our growing acceptance of homosexuality. In the past, homosexuals were thrown in jail. Until the first significant scientific study of homosexuality in the 1950's, it was regarded as a mental illness. More recent research into human sexuality has shown that sexual orientation is fixed in adulthood and is caused by an interaction of genetic and environmental factors outside a person's control. The North American public has increasingly accepted that heterosexuality, bisexuality, and homosexuality are simply three different, natural, normal, unchangeable sexual orientations. |
| Recognition of same-sex relationships is built upon a foundation of thousands of other Federal, State/Province, County, City and company victories for equal rights, engineered by thousands of gay and lesbian activists, and made possible by millions of gays, lesbians and bisexuals who have individually come out of the closet. |
| Christian beliefs and attitudes towards homosexuality are now split, with liberal denominations now giving gays and lesbians full access to membership and ordination, while conservative denominations retain historical exclusion of sexual minorities. Many mainline denominations are suffering intense internal struggle over the issue. |
| The culture's view of marriage has rapidly changed. A century ago, marriage was for life: only a
very small percentage of people divorced. Authority over the woman was formally
transferred from the father of the bride to the new husband at time of the marriage ceremony.
Restrictive gender roles limited women's freedoms. Now, most committed couples in North America live together before marriage. Divorce ends almost 50% of all marriages. Women are deciding to have children outside of marriage. Large numbers of heterosexual couples are living together without being married. Some couples have decided to pursue two careers and to have no children. Surrogate motherhood is increasing. So are inter-faith and inter-racial marriages. All of these trends are causing people to alter their perception of marriage, and broaden their definition of the term. The concept of same-sex marriages now seems to many people to be simply one more variation. |
| Once same-sex marriage became available in Massachusetts, Canada and multiple countries in Europe, many people began to look at the topic seriously. Many people, particularly youth and young adults, view marriage as a basic human right for all couples -- same sex and opposite sex. |
References:
- "United States Supreme Court: Case: LOVING V. VIRGINIA," The Multiracial Activist, at: http://www.multiracial.com/
- Barbara Whitehead, David Popenoe, "The state of our unions: The social health of marriage in America: 2002," at: http://marriage.rutgers.edu/
- The National Marriage Project has a home page at: http://marriage.rutgers.edu/
- Hyde v. Hyde (1866), L.R. 1 P. & D. 130 [H.L.]
Copyright © 1997 to 2007 by
Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance
Latest update: 2007-DEC-23
Author: B.A. Robinson
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