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Marriage Project symbol 1 |
Family Research Council's marriage symbol 2 |
This essay gives some background material about same-sex marriage (SSM) that you might find helpful before you proceed to our rather massive section describing SSM.
Three quotes:
 | "Marriage between one man and one woman is critical to maintaining social
stability. Society as a whole pays a high price when marriage is devalued. You
see divorce; you see single-parenting; you see a rise in out-of-wedlock
pregnancies." Shari Rendall, director of legislation and policy for
Concerned Women for America. 3 |
| "An unjust law is (one that a) majority group compels a minority group
to obey but does not make binding on itself. ... "Lamentably, it is an
historical fact that privileged groups seldom give up there privileges
voluntarily." Martin Luther King, Jr. in a letter from a Birmingham jail. |
| "A loving man and woman in a committed relationship can marry. Dogs,
no matter what their relationship, are not allowed to marry. How should
society treat gays and lesbians in committed relationships? As dogs or as
humans?" Anonymous posting to an Internet mailing list. |
| More quotes showing the diversity of opinion. |
Background:
For some years, same-sex marriage (SSM) has been near or at the top of any list of leading religious/secular/political controversies in North America. It is complex, divisive, and not readily amenable to compromise. After all, U.S. states either allow SSM or ban it.
Any change, or threat of change, to the culture is distressing to many people. But a change to the structure of the fundamental building block of society -- the family -- can be particularly upsetting. Also, a change related to human sexuality can be profoundly disorienting.
SSM has split the U.S. by:
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Age: Youth and young adults are generally for SSM; the elderly are against. |
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Political affiliation: Democrats are in are favor, Independents less so, Republicans opposed. |
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Religion: Conservatives are opposed; religious liberals/progressives and secularists are for. |
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Geography: The northeast is for; the west coast is about evenly split; the rest is against. |
Most American adults currently oppose SSM, but the trend is towards increasing acceptance. If current trends continue, most American adults who have an opinion on the topic will be supportive of SSM sometime in the 2010's.
LivingVote.org has followed the debate over Proposition 8 in California, which terminated SSM in that state. LivingVote's visitors have posted three arguments for and three against SSM which seem to reflect Americans' main concerns:
| Arguments for SSM | Arguments against SSM |
| Dignity & respect: "The institution of marriage
conveys dignity and respect towards a couple that make a lifetime commitment
to support each other.
"Same-sex couples deserve this dignity and respect." |
Religious freedom: For most Americans, marriage is a religious sacrament or ceremony. If the definition of marriage is changed to allow SSM, some religious individuals and groups feel that they will become at risk of having to violate their beliefs by being forced to marry same-sex couples. |
| Equal rights: Denying marriage to same-sex couples removes from one group a fundamental, important human right -- the right to marry the person that one loves and to whom one has made a commitment. That is unfair and unjust in a democracy. | Children benefit: Many religiously conservative researchers have found that children thrive best when reared in
a home with a married mother and father. Boys and girls have needs that are
uniquely met by parents of the opposite
gender. |
| Financial & security: Denying one group the right to marry has many adverse emotional and financial consequences. Examples are Social Security, Medicare, medical leave, and other benefits; property inheritance; the right to visit their spouse in hospital, and make medical decisions if they are incapacitated; security of the couple and of their children. | Teaching about SSM: The role of marriage in society is a major topic taught in public schools. If SSM is legalized, schools would be required to teach that same-sex marriage is equivalent to opposite-sex marriage, starting as early as Kindergarten. That would violate the beliefs of many parents. |
Terminology:
SSM is a difficult topic to discuss because:
|
Different groups assign different meanings to commonly used
words. |
|
There is heavy emotional baggage associated with some terms, particularly when used by some groups. |
Advocacy groups often prefer to use positive terms to describe their position. Thus, gay-positive groups often using the term "marriage equality" while religious and social conservatives use terms like "traditional marriage" and "pro-marriage."
For example:
Terms: Homosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual...
|
Many human sexuality researchers, therapists, etc.
consider "homosexual" to be an emotionally neutral term that refers to
individuals who are sexually attracted only to members of the same gender.
It refers to one of three
morally neutral, normal, natural, and fixed (or nearly always fixed) sexual orientations among
adults. The other two orientations are heterosexual and bisexual. |
| Many religious and social conservatives consider
"homosexual" to be a very negative term -- often a snarl word -- that refers to individuals who have sex
with members of the same gender. They see it as immoral, abnormal, unnatural,
and changeable behavior among adults that is condemned by God and by the
Bible. There is a small but growing belief among religious conservatives that
there are about 30, not 3, sexual orientations -- including bestiality (having
sex with animals); necrophilia (having sex with dead bodies); pedophilia
(sexually abusing pre-pubertal children), etc. |
|
Persons with a homosexual or bisexual orientation often describe themselves as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. But to some, the terms "gay" and "lesbian" also imply being actively involved in political action to promote SSM and equality of rights and protections for persons of all sexual orientations. |
On this website, we use the terms homosexual, gay, lesbian, heterosexual, and bisexual interchangeably without implying any emotional baggage.
Terms: Gay marriage, same-sex marriage, SSM, homosexual marriage, traditional marriage, counterfeit marriage....
|
Many news sources use "same-sex marriage" and "gay marriage"
interchangeably. |
|
Religious and social conservatives generally use terms like "gay
marriage" or "homosexual marriage." They often enclose the word "marriage" in
quotation marks to indicate that they do not consider SSM to be a legitimate
form of marriage. They often use the term "traditional marriage" to refer to marriage by
an opposite-sex couple. "Pro-family" generally means that the group is
supportive of families led by opposite-sex couples while simultaneously
being opposed to equal rights for
families led by same-sex couples. |
|
Gay-positive groups generally use terms like "same-sex marriage" and "marriage equality." |
On this site, we mostly use the terms "same-sex marriage" and its acronym SSM. We avoid "gay marriage" for the simple reason that it is not applicable to those SSMs in which one or both spouses have a bisexual, not a homosexual orientation.
Please proceed to the main
same-sex marriage menu.
It is BIG.
References used:
The following information sources were used to prepare and update the above essay. The hyperlinks are not necessarily still active today.
- National Freedom to Marry Day logos are available at: http://www.lambdalegal.org
- From the Family Research Council's Washington Update mailing list of 2003-OCT-8.
- Nima Reza, "Vermont Gay Marriage Begins Tuesday," CitizenLink daily update e-mail, 2009-AUG-31.
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Copyright © 1997 to 2010 by Ontario
Consultants on Religious Tolerance
Rewritten: 2009-MAY-10
Latest update: 2010-JAN-26
Author: B.A. Robinson
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