Analysis of the "Relationship Surprises"
episode of 2009-OCT-08

"I think what Denise [a representative of the American Institute of Bisexuality] and I are saying to you is that if you will just relax, and really just focus on your baby, and enjoy that right now and let your body mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, every way, kind of get back into balance. And I would also not want you to make the wrong assumption that this baby can't have a wonderful, fulfilling, nurturing life with a single mother or with two mothers. Right now what we know is that everybody around that child loves the child, nurtures the child, is peaceful with the child and is focused on the child. It can't get much better than that. If you meet a guy and enjoy it, let that develop. It may become a platonic friendship. ... Let that play out. It's OK. You don't have to be in a hurry. Right now you just need to focus on that little baby who is just about as cute as they get."

In contrast, most religious and social conservatives feel that a child cannot be properly socialized if they are brought up in a family of one parent or two same-sex parents.
 

Dr Phil said that parents often feel guilty when they find that their child is not heterosexual. They worry that they did not properly feminize their daughter or masculinize their son. He rejected the validity of this belief, which is often promoted by religious conservatives. He said:

"There's not one study I've ever seen anywhere that suggest that this myth that a dominant mother and a weak father creates a gay boy. And all of those things that you hear talked about, there is just no basis for that." (emphasis ours)

Dr. Phil did not explain in detail which these other myths are.

He affirmed the importance of Meeka supporting and accepting her daughter. He said:

"Kids who are gay tend to have a four times higher rate of suicide than the general population. Kids who are gay and alienated, rejected by their family have a nine times higher rate of suicide than the general population. You add to that a friend who has already modeled that behavior of making an attempted suicide, and I take that very, very seriously. And rather than focusing on what you want the truth to be, you need to try to find out what the truth is and then really focus on educating yourself about it in the interim."

"Can homosexuality be learned and unlearned?"

Dr. Phil answered:

"Homosexuality is not a learned behavior. A sexual orientation is inherited; you are wired that way. Certainly some people will experiment with a gay lifestyle, and a gay person might experiment with a heterosexual one. If she is really gay, she will find a place in that life and in that community. The important thing is that you just love her through that. What difference does it make if she is gay? Accept her, support her and do not be judgmental. It is difficult enough for her to live openly and honestly in this society; don't put your judgment on top of that."

	Students
	Parents
	School faculty

The student pledge states that:

	"We believe that everybody should enjoy our school equally, and feel safe, secure and accepted regardless of sexual preference or gender identity/expression."
	"Anti-GLBT bullying causes pain and stress to students that are gay as well as students perceived to be gay and is never justified or excusable as 'kids being kids,' 'just teasing' or any other rationalization."
	"Our school?s GLBT students, like all students, are entitled to a school and classroom environment that provides an optimum opportunity for education free of fear and harassment."
	"Support GLBT students who have been or are subjected to bullying."

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