SAMPLE PROBLEMS THAT MAY ARISE IN AN INTER-FAITH RELATIONSHIP

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Overview:

To a degree, two people who are living together are certain to be in a mixed relationship, whether they are married or not. In most countries, a marriage is composed of two persons of different genders: one woman and one man. (In Canada, the Netherlands and Belgium, where same-sex marriages are permitted, gender may not be a factor. However society's lack of acceptance of such marriages will introduce additional pressures.) The couple's may have grown up under different economic conditions; there may be a difference in race, age, political views, language, country of origin, education, goals, religion and other factors.

Of these, the religious factor can be a particularly major stressor, because the couple may well have conflicting views on morality, ethics, theology, world view, family traditions, etc. These may influence many of their decisions, wants, priorities, and needs.

I recall an personal incident in my early twenties. I had gone out on a first date with a young woman, which we both seemed to enjoy. We had a lot in common and had some unusually deep conversations. I was surprised after she turned me down flat when I asked for a second date. She explained that she was a Roman Catholic and never went out on a second date with a non-Catholic. She had a policy of avoiding any possibility of ending up in a religiously mixed marriage.

On 2003-JUL-1, Beliefnet.com hosted a Christian discussion board on the topic of inter-faith marriages. It was based on the biblical text in 2 Corinthians 6:14: "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" Paul implies that all Christians are righteous and symbolized by light, while all non-Christians are unrighteous and symbolized by darkness. At first glance Paul would seem to be making a religiously intolerant statement about non-Christians. However, according to Webster, the word "unrighteous" has multiple meanings, one of which is "Acting in accordance with divine or moral law." ₁ From Paul's point of view, a Christian would probably be acting according to the "divine or moral law" of the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament) as enhanced by Jesus, Paul and other biblical writers. Roman Pagans, Greek Pagans and other non-Christians would be following a different system of religious laws which would not necessarily match those of Christianity. So, perhaps Paul's comment was accurate as far as righteousness is concerned. However, his analogies of Christians and non-Christians to light and darkness does seem a trifle judgmental and perhaps bigoted.

A number of points were raised by the postings to this discussion board: