Believe it and you will see it!
An essay donated by Anita Pathik Law, CFCC, MSMC
Let's face it, Human Beings want. And most us want a whole lot more than we
need. Human needs, as defined by one of my greatest teachers of simple yet
profound truths, Dr. William Glasser, fall into one of five main categories;
Survival, Love and Belonging, Freedom, Power and Worth, and Fun/Pleasure. Most
of us, if honest with ourselves, have the survival needs covered. The others we
meet in a variety of ways, some healthy and some, well let's just say, NOT!
(check out www.wglasser.com for more
information) All behavior, Glasser taught, is completely driven by these needs.
Behavior can be looked at as habits of thought and action. Much of our behavior
is unconscious and spontaneous; some we find is more purposeful in nature. We
don't give a great deal of thought to everyday experiences, rather we respond in
patterns of behavior, attitudes, beliefs, and emotions. We expect certain things
based on our past experiences, and that expectation or belief then acts as a
perceptual filter, thus disallowing us to see anything other than what or how we
have experienced it in the past.
Yet, we do on some level, believe that change occurs.
We know that tomorrow will never be exactly the same as today because there are
so many variables that caused today to be today. Many of those variables,
however, exist within our own beliefs (or lack thereof), attitudes, and
perceptions, all of which influence our behavior. Our beliefs create a profound
energy that influences that which we experience. Getting a little heady? Let's
look at an example of these concepts in action.
Yesterday, I asked one of my clients, who has been a bit frustrated over finding
the right and perfect job, a simple question; "What do you really, really want?"
Her response was, "I've been giving this a lot of thought, and all I can really
say is I want to use the gifts I have serve others."
(Translation: I want to access and use that which gives me Power and Worth
(those things we are good at) to achieve a sense of Love and Belonging in the
world, and of course meet my needs for Survival!)
Now, notice the phrase "all I really can" in her statement. What she did was
create a rule about what she is "allowed" to want. The statement was also not
very specific. I did not get an image of what she really meant. It was a bit
wimpy, and quite frankly, it seemed clouded by something yet undiscovered - The
"Come, on, what do you really want?" And, what do you really not want?" "Oh, and
what do you mean, "All I can really say?" what's that about?"
"Chuckle, chuckle - ok, when I really think about what I love to do, it's
coaching and facilitating, but, I have really enjoyed this last year. I have had
so much FREEDOM, and yet never run out of things to do, but I have to begin
increasing my income."
"So, is it possible, that your desire for continued FREEDOM is so strong that it
is actually blocking you energetically from getting a job? Is it possible that
deep down you believe that a job would compromise the FREEDOM you have been
enjoying?" "Is it possible that you believe these two things are mutually
(Translation: a Job = Captivity, thus a loss of FREEDOM or a Job ≠ FREEDOM)
"That's why this one job with company x would be so perfect. I would be doing
what I love but could work as little or as many hours as I want." "I really want
"No you don't, you want what you perceive this job will give you - freedom and
the opportunity to utilize the gifts and passion you possess for coaching and
facilitating in a way that helps others."
"OK, so get really clear on what you really want - get descriptive "I want a job
that earns me x amount of money for x number of hours, doing x type of work,
and, be open to the possibility that what you want may come to you in the form
of something other than this particular job."
(Translation, "Don't be afraid to really be truthful in defining what you want
and then BELIEVE it is possible")
Many years ago, while I was being trained to facilitate the 7 Habits of Highly
Effective People, Dr. Stephen Covey, shared a quote. He said "most people say
"I'll believe it when I see it, when in actuality, we only see that which we
(Translation: we only experience that which we believe is possible)
It does not matter how much we want something, we have to truly believe in the
manifestation of that desire. Our beliefs are truly the key to creating the
lives we want; the relationships, the jobs, the finances, our surroundings, even
our states of being are influenced by our beliefs. Our beliefs then influence
our actions and our actions influence the results we get. If you are attracting
things that you do not want in your life, check out your beliefs. My client, who
was attracting unemployment, needed to examine her underlying belief that a job
would sacrifice the freedom she had come to cherish. Therefore, she continued to
manifest a state of unemployment. It was the only manifestation that would
support the belief, other than accepting a job that would then infringe so
greatly on her freedom that her belief would be supported by irrefutable
evidence ("See, I told you so, a job = loss of freedom!").
Have you ever looked at the outer appearance of someone's life and said to
yourself "I want what they have!" It could be your perception of their marriage,
their job, their income level, their house, etc." The list goes on and on
doesn't it? There are two things to consider; the first being, "it is only my
perception that this person has it all", and the second being, "this person
believed they could create and manifest these things in their life, that's why
they have what they have."
What do you believe you can and can't have? Henry Ford once said, "Whether you
think you can or you think you can't you are probably right!" Bottom line folks
- that in which we believe has a powerful impact on that which we experience. In
other words, if you believe you can or you believe you can't you will probably
experience the reality you believe in.
Author Joe Vitale, in his newly released book "The Attractor Factor, 5 Easy
Steps to Creating Wealth (or Anything Else) from the Inside Out," reveals that
"success of any kind doesn't depend on what you are doing, it depends on what
you are being!" He further reveals the power of thought, intention, and beliefs
and their impact on what we manifest, or don't manifest in our lives. And go
figure, he provides a 5 step process for creating the life you want. He pulls
together the wisdom teachings of many of his greatest teachers into a
delightful, thought provoking and actionable read. Visit
more details on how to order the book.
In closing, the moral of this story is simple. Get clear on what you want,
identify the need/s that your want/s feeds, examine the beliefs that will
support and detract from that desire, get clear on your intentions, and believe
in your ability to attract your deepest desires into manifestation. In other
words, believe it and you will see it!
About the author:
Anita Pathik Law is a Certified Franklin Covey Coach, Marshall Goldsmith
Coach and President and founder of Dare Dreamers, LLC and the Power of My Way,
both headquartered in Annapolis, Maryland. She recently published the thought
and life provoking book "The Power of Our Way, a Path to a Collective
Consciousness," and has written numerous articles on the subjects of Business,
Coaching, Leadership, and Spirituality. She also recently co-founded Toronto
based Self Management Coaching and trains and coaches other business coaches. In
her spare time, Anita writes captivating lyrics that are brought to life through
the music of her husband, Brent Law. For more information and to sign up for her
FREE e-zines, visit www.dare-dreamers.com,
and www.powerofmyway.com. and