The following information sources were used to prepare and update this section. The hyperlinks are not necessarily still active today.
Humorous web sites about masturbation:
Americans for Purity: This web site is subtitled "Winning the war
on masturbation." It asserts that chronic masturbation causes "weakness,
depression, forgetfulness and nearsightedness." It reports theological
experts as concluding that masturbation is a gateway sin that leads to rape,
sodomy, child molesting and addiction to pornography. They recommend that
personal vibrators and other sexual aids be banned, that indecent art be
prohibited, and that sausages, cucumbers and carrots be sold pre-sliced.
They advocate female genital mutilation to
eliminate masturbation among women. Caution: thisweb site will probably contain a banner ad sponsored by Yahoo.com which links to other web sites. Some of these are
Landover Baptist Church This is a large web site that tries very hard to look like the site of a serious "Bible
believing, Fundamentalist, Independent Baptist Church," taken to
the extreme. But it is in fact a satirical web site. They advocate, with
tongue firmly in cheek, a concentration campus for divorcees, tossing
disobedient children to the lions (well, bears actually) and punishment for
any "association with Catholics, Presbyterians, Mormons, Methodists,
Unitarians, "Episkypols," or any other occult activity..." Use theirsearch
facility to find essays on masturbation.
Free.FreeSpeech.org has a humorous article about "Pitt & Johnson:
Manufacturers of anti-masturbation equipment and chastity preservation
tools." They condemn the abolition of child labor because it
gave "Working class children...more free time on their hands and
consequently the masturbation rate soared." They claim that "Christian
doctors and scientists agree on the harmful side effects of
masturbation..." These negative consequences include blindness, acne, drug addiction,
homosexuality and Atheism.
Mark E. Petersen, Council of the 12 Apostles [Mormon], "Steps in
Masturbation," at: http://qrd.tcp.com/ The article was apparently written circa 1970 CE. It is replicated at many locations
across the Web.
Pope Paul VI, "Persona Humana - Declaration on Certain Questions
Concerning Sexual Ethics," issued by the Sacred Congregation for the
Doctrine of the Faith,
on 1975-DEC-29. See: http://www.odyssee.net/
Go Ask Alice! is an interactive question and answer service from
Healthwise, the Health Education division of Columbia University Health. She has some
questions and answers about masturbation at: http://www.columbia.edu/
Jack Boulware, "Sex educator says most people masturbate; it can
cut down on the number of sex partners and danger of disease,"
Salon.com, 2000-MAY-9. Available at: http://www.tylwythteg.com/