An essay donated by Nicholas Nam
Toxic Faith: Stressors in the lives
of young adult Korean-Americans
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Growing up within the Korean American
community, I have seen that while most parents give freedom to
choose a faith, some parents don't. According to Toxic Faith
by Stephen Arterburn & Jack Felton, the mentality of "always
submitting to authority" signals an unhealthy religious lifestyle. The lack of freedom will
eventually inhibit children from growing into individuals and
critical thinkers.Parents urge their children to attend
church meetings. The same children watch their parents donate 10 percent
of the families' income to the church and grow up to believe that
material blessings signify spiritual strength. But to what extent does
this upbringing affect these children? When parents teach that problems
in an individual's life is a result of a particular sin, children become obsessed
with do's and don'ts. By trying to abide by so many codes of ethics, the
child is unable to think for himself.
We can find many similarities
between the children who have grown up under a toxic faith environment
and the prisoners of Plato's Cave. Imagine prisoners who have been
chained since childhood deep inside a cave. Behind the prisoners
stands an enormous fire and to pass time, the prisoners name the shadows
created by the fire. Aside from the shadows, they only have a modicum of
knowledge about the outside world. When the prisoners find a way of
escape, they experience freedom of the outside world and refuse to go
back to the cave.
What happens when these children leave
for college? Two things are likely. In a study
done by College Student Journal, professors observed that the
average Korean American college student is unable to articulate his/her
thoughts objectively. According to Korean Immigrants and the
Challenge of Adjustment 2 by Moon H. Jo, a retired professor of
sociology, the majority of Korean American children described their
parents as "uncompromising, single-track minded, and authoritarian."
Considered rude to talk back, Korean children seldom state their
opinions. Also, many will abandon their faith. In a survey
done by LifeWay Christian Resources, 70 percent of young adults
between the ages of 23 to 30 stopped going to church. 3
One Korean college student, an
ex-church member, described her choice "Once I went off to college, I left
church. Though I respect the faith, it doesn't suit me."
After exposure to the critical attitudes
of professors and friends, she decided to try new options.
Many Korean American children living
under a toxic faith environment highlight a confusing time, should find
wisdom from the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson. "The key to every man
is his thought." They need to find their inner voice instead of letting
others think for them; it will allow them to truly regain the freedom that they
have lost.
When parents strip their children of
freedom, it is like putting them into Plato's Cave. Compared to the
outside world, home is only a fraction of what society has to offer.
References used:
The following information sources was used to prepare and update the above
essay. The hyperlinks are not necessarily still active today.
- Stephen Arterburn & Jack Felton, "Toxic Faith," Shaw Books, (2001).
Read reviews or order this book safely
from Amazon.com online book store
- Moon H. Jo, "Korean Immigrants and the Challenge of Adjustment," Greenwood Press, (1999).
Read reviews or order this book safely
from Amazon.com online book store
- "Why Young Adults Drop Out of Church and What We Can Do to Stem the Tide,"
LifeWay, undated, at:
http://www.lifeway.com/
Original posting: 2008-OCT-17
Author: Nicholas Nam
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