THE LDS RESTORATIONIST MOVEMENT,
INCLUDING THE MORMON CHURCHES
THE LDS CHURCH & THE EQUALITY OF WOMEN
An essay donated by John Nash
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I have read through some of...[the] articles [in this website] on the LDS
Church, (I refer specifically to your nomenclature that the LDS Church is
the largest and predominate sect of the LDS Restorationist family of
religions). In the course of my readings, I have seen references to the
concept that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds women
in a subservient or unequal role to the men in the Church. While I cannot speak
for other sects who have been identified as part of the “Mormon" family of
religions, I can speak to my understanding of the doctrine of the Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The idea that women are less than equal
to the men is not accurate.
I could speak to the idea that the LDS Church maintains one of the oldest
women’s organizations in the nation in the Relief Society Organization
(our women’s auxiliary). I could speak to the leadership roles held and overseen
by women from the local congregations up to the general leadership of the
Church. And I could speak to the impracticality of suggesting to God’s final
(and in my personal opinion grandest) creation), that woman is secondary and
subservient to man. Rather, I would prefer to address the misperception that
unfortunately occurs all too often, both inside and outside of the LDS Church.
In Genesis, we are taught that man should leave his father and mother and
“cleave" to his wife, that they might be “one flesh." Similarly, in LDS marriage
ceremonies, we are taught to “cleave unto" our spouse “…and none else." This
would suggest that there is no primacy of personage within the relationship
between husbands and wives.
We do teach that a husband presides over the family. Too often, misguided
individuals stop there, assuming that means the men rule. If they were to
investigate further, they would find that a man can only preside over his
family, as long as he is completely and totally righteous. Moreover, in order to
live up to that level of righteousness, he must cooperate and work with his
companion and helpmeet—his wife. If a man seeks to rule over his wife (and
children for that matter) “in any degree of unrighteousness, amen to the
priesthood or authority of that man." In other words, the husband/wife
relationship is one in which both husband and wife must be in agreement. They
must sustain and support one another. We are taught in the Doctrine and
Covenants (part of the LDS cannon of scripture) Section 121 verse 41 – 42, how
we (both husbands and wives) should go about “presiding’ over our families:
“No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the
priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and
meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which
shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—"
This would seem to be a far cry from the chauvinistic image that is presented
by most who portray the relationship of LDS husbands and wives as that of master
and servant. In all honesty, if husbands were to take this approach to their
wives, there would be a lot less divorce in this world. That is not to say that
LDS men and women are the perfect examples of how to live these values—far from
it. The people of the LDS Church have never claimed to be perfect, just that we
are working on it. Living these principles does not happen over night, nor will
it completely happen in our life time (remember, the Savior was and is the only
perfect person to stand on the earth). It is a life long process that, like any
endeavor, is full of both high and low points.
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I have sometimes used the somewhat crude but useful analogy of a car. Cars have
an engine and a transmission. Both are necessary to make a vehicle perform its
designed function. Both have different roles in the process. In terms of the
desired outcome, both have an equal impact. Neither is the man without the
woman, nor the woman without the man. In the marriage relationship, men and
women have different roles but equal impacts. Without both holding up their
respective responsibilities—working together in harmony—the family will not
operate at its optimum level.
If what I have presented is the truth (and I am personally comfortable that it
is), then what is the deal with the Mormons and our supposed repression towards
women? Why shouldn’t women hold the same roles as men, and visa versa? I believe
the answer lies in some basic assumptions. Up until 30 or 40 years ago, there
was a very real belief that family was the most important thing. Perhaps it was
tied to the fact that until then, we were still a fairly agronomous society.
Living on farms, the family worked together—the father presided with his wife,
but the entire family contributed to the whole. As we have moved away from that
rural “Green Acres" lifestyle, we no longer felt connected to serving a greater
good than our own personal interests. Society has changed and in doing so, our
morals have changed as well. It is no longer what is best for our family, but
what is best for me. In that climate, why shouldn’t a woman be just as important
in the workplace as a man?
But what if, the assumption that personal and individual fulfillment is the
prime motivation for all activity were turned back 50 years. Is it possible in
today’s world to assume that the ultimate welfare of the individual is directly
tied to the well-being of the family, as it has been for millennia?
This is the assumption that leads to the LDS Church’s positions on the roles of
men and women. The husband is the provider—this does not mean that he abandons
his family to receive the accolades of the workplace, he is to provide for and
support his family. The wife is the nurturer—one cannot look at a mother and her
small child to know that there is a special bond between them, who better to
teach the principles of the family to ensure that they are instilled in our
youth. Both work together, and neither should forget their priorities with the
family. This assumes that the family—husband, wife, and children—are the most
important thing. Not the next promotion, not the SUV and large house, not any
other activity. The family. Those other things are not a problem, as long as
they to do not become higher priorities.
Again, as I mentioned above, these are assumptions. Everyone has them. Mine
are that the family is more important than the individual. And that true
fulfillment for the individual comes in context of the relationship within the
family. If one changes their assumptions to reposition the individual as the
prime entity, as our modern society has done, then you end up with a completely
different set of conclusions—the biggest of which is that Mormons place women in
a subservient role. It all depends on one’s assumptions (again, those pesky
assumptions).
Let me close by saying this. It has been my experience, corroborated by at least
one ardent feminist of whom I am personally acquainted, that if one truly
understands the LDS faith, one would know that LDS women are the freest and most
emancipated women on the face of the earth. As in any society, there are those
who would abuse their supposed “supremacy" over women to get their way, but I
believe that those men are in for a very rude awakening when the day of judgment
arrives. What is more likely is that as a husband and wife learn to work
together, they will learn to compliment each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
In my experience, most LDS men who have been so foolish as to command their
wives to “obey, or else…" have learned rather quickly the cold comforts of
sleeping on the sofa. As I stated earlier, we do not claim to be perfect, but we
are working on it.
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