Child corporal punishment: Spanking

How parents can wean themselves
from spanking their children

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Many conservative para-church organizations strongly advocate spanking children -- sometimes as early as 18 months of age. Some imply that the alternative to spanking is no discipline at all. In fact, anti-spanking advocates suggest that there are many methods of discipline of which some are more effective than corporal punishment without the adverse effects of spanking. Pediatrician Shari Barkin says: "Discipline means to teach, not to punish."

Some child psychologists and pediatricians who oppose corporal punishment suggest:

The following are some random recommendations from parents that we have collected from a variety of forums:

Two helpful resources:

Watching two TV programs can be very helpful:

"Armed with the dos and don'ts of child-rearing and possibility an umbrella or two, the English über-nannies aren't afraid to crack the whip on everything from appalling table manners to raging temper tantrums. The nannies will help exhausted parents tackle the chaos in their home and work their incredible 'Marry Poppins' - like magic to transform the terrible tots." ₂

"Her simple methods stress consistency, communication and reasonable consequences for poor behavior, all delivered with loving firmness. She emphasizes the importance of spelling out the new rules of the household to children in advance, as well as explaining the consequences for infractions. She also candidly points out to parents where they need to be more decisive, more flexible or even how they may need to adjust their expectations of a child's readiness for certain behaviors. For example, graduating a child to a seat at the dinner table instead of a high chair may be long overdue and provide an easy fix to mealtime misbehavior. When parents witness Jo's results and -- even better -- achieve them on their own, they are truly believers in the Supernanny way. Best of all, children and adults alike can enjoy the lasting benefits of a more harmonious family life." ₃

A recommended list of books for violence-free discipline:

K. Smith, the wife of a pediatrician, gave a negative review on the Amazon.com web site of psychologist James Dobson's book "The New Strong-Willed Child: Birth Through Adolescence." She referred to it with the comment "This is child abuse." She wrote:

"Discipline is loving guidance, not corporal punishment, where the child in a demeaning and destructive way wrongly learns that violence is a form of acceptable communication and guidance, by parents. There are no benefits to hit a child - It is destructive for a child's self worth, self esteem, and demeaning and disrespectful. Children have feelings and emotions as adults. It is extremely unfair and disgraceful of parents to misuse their power on weaker people - our children - who are defenseless and who don't have their own voice. Your child will be confused and think "Why is my mother and father whom I love and trust inflicting pain on me?" Hitting a child, will separate the bond between parents and a child, and will only make the child fearful of their parents. In addition, hitting a child won't teach and guide a child towards better behavior in a constructive and communicative way. By slapping someone, what do you learn? Nothing - only that it is okay to be antisocial and misbehave and to be violent."

She recommends the following books on child discipline:

Sponsored links:

References

1. Ben Harder, "Effective strategies for parents," Los Angeles Times, 2007-FEB-19, at: http://www.latimes.com/
2. The Nanny 911 home page is at: http://www.fox.com/. Their forum is at: http://forums.fox.com/
3. The Supernanny home page is at: http://abc.go.com/

Copyright © 2007 by Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance
Originally written: 2007-FEB-19
Latest update: 2007-FEB-19
Author: B.A. Robinson